Lexcya Breanna Washington

THE BEGINNING..................................................A mother of two toddlers I felt incomplete and longed to hold a baby in my arms again. My husband however, was not so thrilled and was against the idea. With a little convincing I was able to persuade him and within 2-3 months of trying I was pregnant. I was very excited but felt like I was smaller than I should have been for the number of weeks that I was but I figured I was just worrying too much and tried to remain calm.

THE DAY MY WORLD CHANGED.................................................... During a routine sonogram at 19 weeks, I remember sitting in the office and the young inexperienced girl doing the sonogram showing me all the normal parts you would expect to see (lungs, heart, kidney, bladder). Then just as quickly as she came, she was gone. Next came the doctor, which i thought was a little odd but I shook the feeling off and allowed him to continue with the sonogram. He didn't say anything while doing the sonogram as the previous girl had. He took a few measurements tapped on his machine, shut if off and then turned on the lights. He crossed his hands and said, "Mr and Mrs Washington, I know I just met you and I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but usually when we look at the ultrasound, we see kidneys and a bladder full of urine. With your baby we do not see kidneys or a full bladder, in fact you have little to no amniotic fluid at all." HOW COULD THIS BE I REMEMBER THINKING TO MYSELF, DIDN'T THE GIRL JUST SAY SHE SAW NOT ONLY KIDNEYS BUT A BLADDER TOO? I remember not saying much of anything, I just nodded and when asked "Do you have any questions?" I responded "So what does this mean?" He responded "Your baby will not survive. I will make you an appointment with your doctor to terminate your pregnancy." My response: "OK" (not at all what I was actually thinking...maybe it was shock talking or I just couldn't form my lips to say anything else) Quick anatomy lesson for those that are not up on their anatomy and physiology: Babies urinate in utero and then breath it in. This breathing in of the urine causes the development of their lungs and by this they begin to breathe when they are born. My problem: my baby was making no urine due to absence of kidneys and she was therefore not developing her lungs. Back to that day: I left the radiologist office and headed toward my doctors office. I think in the five minute ride there, I had a complete breakdown and felt like I was going to pass out and die. When I got there, he explained that the baby would not live if I continued to carry her and my health may be at jeapardy and we proceeded to make the appointment to terminate. My mother called and said those infamous words a mother says that make all kids no matter what age break down and cry. "What's wrong?" Eventually she got the story from me and agreed that termination was my only option. I went home and slept the rest of the day and most of the next.

MY DECISION................................................... The next evening while taking a shower, I had what some would call an epiphany. It was like all of a sudden I realized, life and death was not my choice. If I terminated I would be making the choice to kill her. If I kept her and she lived I put it in Gods hands and if throughout the course of all this, it was my time to go, then it would just be my time to go. I called the doctors office and cancelled the appointment and told him I would be consulting with another doctor and his services were no longer needed. I don't like to be made to feel like my options are given to me and I have no choice in the matter. About two weeks later I consulted with a maternal fetal health specialist and was this time diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disorder in place of the original diagnosis of Potters Syndrome, but still the same prognosis. I researched the internet offered suggestions, all to no avail.

THE DAY SHE ENTERED THE WORLD...................................................... Finally On August 5, 2004 my beautiful baby girl made her entrance into the world 5 weeks early. She took one short cry and was whisked from my arms. She was rescuscitated and struggled for her life for 2 hours and 14 minutes most of which she spent in my arms listening to my voice. When it was time to decide whether or not to pull the plug..with a heavy heart I consented but while the tape was being removed from the tube, she took her final breath and went to sleep. She made my decision for me and for that I love her more than life. My Lexcya was a very precious gift borrowed for a short while and I feel her story deserves to be told so that others may know what a blessing she truly was. I only wish everyone could have met her. I realize now, she was only borrowed for a short while and I feel blessed to have borrowed her.